Isn’t it ironic... Don’t you think?
I first learned about irony while listening to Alanis Morissette’s 1996 #1 hit “Ironic” that goes a little something like this: “It’s like rain on your wedding day, It’s like a free ride when you’ve already paid, It’s the good advice that you used didn’t take…”
Back in the day, the song blasted through the car radio and blared loudly through our Boomboxes. Now, you can easily find it here. I love music. I get lost in it. Part of my daydreamer personality loves to escape and float away on a cloud above the world. As a young girl, I wondered what the lyrics meant. Why was this woman singing about rain ruining your wedding day? It would definitely be unpleasant to get your white wedding dress soaked, see your guests shivering cold, and have stringy, matted hair in photos. But it would be kind of funny, right? That the perfect day you’ve fantasized about since you were a little girl is “ruined” by rain. Many plans have been ruined by a little rain. But besides being classified as bad weather, rain and water can symbolize baptisms, cleansings, and new beginnings. Alas, music, books, movies, and real-life can teach us a whole lot about literary devices. Today, the lesson is irony.
In the classroom, the teacher and students can sit in a circle and listen to the song once and jot first impression notes. Students can form seating clusters to discuss and reflect on their thoughts. Once people have sticky notes filled and ideas are flowing, the class can share their results, commenting on how the song makes them feel and what they think the song is about. There should be flow and free thinking before the teacher commands the lesson. It’s a fun and engaging discussion that students will surely remember. I demoed this in an ESL classroom training, using John Mayer and Taylor Swift’s “Half of my Heart” music video to teach simple love words and literary devices. I played the music video on mute and asked students what they thought the video was about before we listened to the song in full. Another suggestion for readers or for people who wish to improve their critical thinking is How to Read Literature Like a Professor by Thomas C. Foster. Although I believe his examples to be outdated, I encourage people to think of and annotate classical examples, allusions, and references in media they already consume.
Outside of a classroom or learning space, irony is deeply personal to me. *It’s hard to explain this without coming off as flippant, but I’ll try. I am not thankful that my mom died. I wish she was here and I miss her deeply every minute of every day. However, she was the type of lady who would be so mad if her kids just stopped living when she did. We have to keep going for her, but mainly, for ourselves. I don’t know where I would be if I hadn’t kicked my own butt into gear with health and fitness. It has been a long journey since 2012 - mentally, physically, and spiritually. I wish my mom didn’t pass away so quickly and so young, leaving a loving husband, five children, two dogs, a business, clients, and a beloved extended family. She left before she could see more of the beautiful world life has to offer. But she did a lot. And I am happy that she was here for the short time that her soul needed to experience the earth.
Ironically, my mother’s death gave my life more meaning. *See I told you I did not want to sound flippant. I am not a victim. My family is not a victim of circumstance. It happened. It sucked. We are alive and well. Did it hurt? Yes. Was it the worst time in my life so far? Yes. But the waves of grief almost drowned me, released me, and then propelled me to become a better person. And for that, I am thankful. I recently re-watched Garden State, and let me tell you, not only does the film have an amazing soundtrack, but the story resonates with me now more so than ever before. The protagonist flies home to attend his mother’s funeral and then reconnects with his high school friends and even falls in love. If his mother hadn’t died, would he have met the girl? Fate or coincidence, we’ll never know. Now, how ironic is that?
I had always expected my life to include my mom’s plans for Friday pizza parlor family night, Sunday spaghetti dinners, and holidays at the extended dining table making room for open-door-policy unexpected guests. So when I get caught up in thinking about the future without my mom by my side, helping me with my babies, or being the first to read my blogs, I do become sad. I do become melancholy. I can’t help it. But instead of getting stuck in my feelings and staying in a gloomy mood, I turn to happiness. I turn to exercise, healthy food, music, and my writing. Writing always helps. She told me to keep writing, you know, I read that in her journal. She wrote her wishes for her children. She knew what was happening before we caught on. I guess a mother always knows what’s best for life, even in death. How ironic.
So, surprise surprise, people eventually separated, people moved, some of us grew closer, some of us grew apart, jobs changed, our family changed, and, yet, we lived through it. Even thriving. We still grieve, every day is different. It’s frustrating at times. But at least I can say that I am a better person than I was. I know my kind, beautiful, and strong siblings can say the same for themselves. And I know it’s because our mom did the best she could, our parents raised us well, and they weren’t/aren’t perfect, but they sure tried. Even though the future looks a lot different now, and I grieve the loss of that future I expected, I lean into creating a new future, making new plans, trying to live in the moment, and trying to do my best even when I feel the worst. You DO NOT want to catch me when I hear Earth Wind & Fire’s “September” come over the radio on a hormonal day - it’s a hot mess express of ugly tears and body shakes. Cue the Kleenex and I have to pull over in the Target parking lot. But then I start to laugh, not because it is funny, but because my mom would do the same. Life is too short to keep crying. Her death taught us to appreciate life.
“Life has a funny way of sneaking up on you, life has a funny way of helping you out.”
So don’t wait until it’s sunny to open the window, breathe in the fresh air, and take in nature, or you won’t learn to appreciate the rain. And if you do get wet, that’s okay. Symbolically, water is a cleansing or a new beginning, remember? Be thankful that you are alive, right now, even if the rain ruins your plans today. And isn’t that ironic?